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Sunday, April 19, 2009

Inki Pinki Ponky




Let me begin with the incident which led to my astounding theory (which I promise to dwell on at a later stage…the story is not too long!). The tale begins a year back. As is the habit of most prestigious educational institutions in the world, our school also organized various competitions where other schools are provided with a chance to show off their prowess.
Generally quizzing is considered a competition for the meek, brainy and contemplative. It is too! But it is a different picture at school quizzes, where the students growl at their oppositions, punch the air with such vigour as was last seen at Madison Square Garden when Mohammad Ali took down his opponents.
At one of these quizzes I and my good friend Soumya were left out and we decided to sit in the crowd and watch our rather illustrious school team having a bad day and being kicked out of their own quiz. In any case there was a particular round during that quiz where you were given 3 clues about some person, if you guessed who that person was with only one clue you made a large number of points (40 if I am not wrong), you would get 20 points for getting it on the second clue and 10 on the third clue, if you can’t get the answer after 3 clues sadly you are awarded no points.
In any case there was this question: “In World War 1, this person invented some sort of gun with the help of which you could shoot from planes without shooting your own rotary blades in the front of the aircraft.”
For some odd reason I whispered to Soumya, “I think it is Roland Garros”. Even after the third question the team couldn’t guess what the answer was, though the third question gave it away (you have a tennis stadium named after this person…the team, I remember said Rod Laver…sheesh!).
Soumya was pretty darned startled after which he congratulated me on a good answer, but he didn’t give it a second thought….nor did I; until now.
All my pals with whom I gave my entrance exam mock tests were always pretty unhappy with me because I had the uncanny habit to nearly always guess correctly, my success rate is about 60%, which is a high percentage considering the mathematical probability being 25% and the statistical probability being 17.89%.
My friends inquired into my methods, though I never could come up with a satisfactory answer, I think I have found the core concept which guides one to the correct answer in multiple answer questions.
I wish to christen my hypothesis, “Ha Ha Gotcha!” A weird name but to many smart readers it might have already shown where my thoughts lead me.
Let us discuss in detail,
1. Why is one asked a question?
Ans: Simple. To see if one knows the answer.
When one gets a very easy sum in physics at IITJEE, one that requires no concept, just solving of an equation, look closer, you are missing something for sure. Why would IIT give you something so simple, they are supposed to be merciless, why this act of compassion? Look at the answer, which of the answers is the weirdest; in a tough exam like IITJEE I am willing to bet that it is the answer.
Remember this does not work well for AIEEE, but certainly for IITJEE, ISI, NTU and so on.
Next point; remember every quiz master wants applause (since his quizzing days are over anyway!), similarly every paper setter wants appreciation, wants you to know that his concepts are clearer than yours. Every time you get a theory question, look closely it is bound to be a well known exception to a common rule, again you should look at the answers for guidance.
Just remember these two things, combine these two facts with your knowledge (though incomplete, as the case may be) you are well on your way to guessing glory.
P.S. you can differentiate the options…not worth integrating!!!

Saturday, April 18, 2009

The Atheist Diaries





Dear God,
Hi. Nice day, isn’t it? Btw, do you exist? If you do, do you know that we exist? If you know that, do you know why people hurt others so much? Why do people kill so much? Do you know that some people kill others for sport? Apparently not. Then, you would do something, right?
Without much further ado, let me get into what I wanted to say. I say that people are finally tired of dying. Yup, I am finally tired of trying to go out into the road afraid that any day I might just be sent to you for no rhyme or reason. After all what is my fault? Is it my fault that I hope to live? Or mine that I believe that you exist? Or still mine that someday that I may love and that I may have children only for them to be sent to you for fun. No sir! That is not happening. Tell you what, I need this from you, in order of preference:
1)I need you to send a reply to this letter, as soon as possible
2)I need you to start killing those who kill for sport
3)I need you to start taking prayers seriously
4)I need you to decide between good and bad
5)I need you to finally stop sleeping and do something
When you do these things, I will know that you exist; else I am sorry to say that the world will not be tolerant anymore. Your happy-go-lucky attitude has cost us a lot already, and people are not so tolerant that they will just sit back and watch others die.
Nice day, isn’t it? I hope you reply soon. And yes, since you are immortal, I don’t mean soon to be another half a million years.
Thanking You,
Regards,
Mankind

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Resolve




It's that time of the year again.
That inter-year period, when the last, remaining members of the old year are slowly dying out, but the new ones have not yet been lit. This is a time of peace. And of silence.
The last year was not a year I'm particularly planning to remember in the long run. It was depressing, in many little (and indeed, sometimes huge) ways. Encounters with Death and all his friends. Personal losses and not-too-pleasant revelations.
Artifice.
But all that is dying out in the wee hours of this new dawn.I'm looking forward to changes, both personal and public ones. I'm looking forward to action, I feel strangely restless this year.To shaking off this sense of ennui, of claustrophobia.Yes, it's that time of the year again.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

SILENCE!!!!


This is the moment
Where the world forks
And both, for a moment,
Are 'the path not taken'
And the pending decision,
A split-second away,
Sings solemn siren-songs--
This is home,
And I am at peace
In the grey spaces
Where silence resounds.

Monday, April 13, 2009

People and Places


This is the beginning of the end.
Somewhere else, new things are stirring. And the old, familiar
ones are beginning to rust, beginning to mould themselves into
immovable patterns set in time.
Like nostalgia.
Places begin to fix themselves too, piecing together scraps of
memory to form an identity.
People are made of places.
Places that seep into you like rain, leaving behind faint
irremovable marks.
There are places I’ll remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I’ve loved them all.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

One Blue Morning


"I don't believe in baptism or the waters of Jordan or anything like that, but I guess I feel about a hot bath the way those religious people feel about holy water."
I woke up feeling quite blue. Many new hurdles. Some ends. Quite a few beginnings. And all the confusion, pressure and haze that transition sometimes brings. Didn't know what to do. Room was in disarray. Seemed like a representation of current state of affairs. Alarming. So tidied up. Didn't feel better. Felt like I was tucking the stray tee shirts of pending deadlines, payments, worries and other woes out of sight. Paranoid. Had to act. Fast.
I've always related to Sylvia Plath. I remember reading The Bell Jar the day before my HS examinations were supposed to start, and feeling completely awed by the book and the author. And the images. That felt almost like they had been pulled out of my subconscious.. I was quite volatile then, and realised later that perhaps it would have been wiser to have read the book after the exams were over. But I've never regretted it... It's become one of my favorite books, and I love Plath. I've digressed too much...
So, I decided on something that never fails. Hot shower therapy. It was a 30 minute long slow and relieving process. By the time I stepped out my skin was pink and there was enough steam to affect visibility. A clean room, a purified body, lovely morning shadows on the bed, sweet smell of aromatic oils, a cup of green tulsi tea and a good 30 minutes of daimoku...
The world seemed like a better place already. And by the time I left home, there was a renewed sense of hope. :)